| 1. |
Whichever boat
ramp line you choose, no matter how short, will be the slowest. |
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| 2. |
Beware of weather
forecasts. Even if it is clear and warm, it will surely change. |
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| 3. |
If, after
traveling ten miles down the lake, you suspect that you may have forgotten something,
there is no doubt that you have. (Example: Approaching dark clouds are a sure indication
that the rain suits are back in the car). |
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| 4. |
The one special
crank plug that you managed to find at K-Mart last night is the only one ever manufactured
that can't be tuned to run correctly. |
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| 5. |
Your worst
backlashes always occur on a cold day in a driving rain. Slight overruns are reserved for
sunny days. |
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| 6. |
Nature's call
always waits until you have donned a snowmobile suit over the top of six other layers of
clothing and are one mile from the nearest shoreline-which, incidentally, is a sheer bluff
bank. |
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| 7. |
Rain suits never
leak until Winter. |
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| 8. |
The best things in
life are not free; they are darned expensive! |
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| 9. |
Bass bite best on
two specific occasions: the day before and the day after. |
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| 10. |
All fishermen are
created equal. It only APPEARS that some are more equal than others. |
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| 11. |
If your bassin'
partner has a lure that the fish are eating up, rest assured that it is the only one in
the boat. |
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| 12. |
When you run out
of gas on the lake, you are the last boat out there. |
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| 13. |
New line always
breaks. |
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| 14. |
Lures never hang
up in shallow cover, only on deep limbs. |
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| 15. |
In a draw
tournament on a strange lake, your partner will NEVER be a local pro. |
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| 16. |
Five tackle boxes,
a paper sack of new lures and a coat pocket full of new Durango Kid masked worms
practically insures that you will NOT have the one lure the bass are hitting that day. |
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| 17. |
If you don't think
it will make any difference, it will. (Examples: corroded battery terminals; frayed
wiring; loose drain plug; inoperative bilge pump). |
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| 18. |
When the heavy
rains crease and the 40 MPH winds finally subside, your outboard motor will not crank. |
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| 19. |
Mud sticks best to
clean shoes; but, comes off easily on the carpet of a bass boat. |
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| 20. |
Dry lures catch
few bass. |
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| 21. |
Unless you are
continually stepping on it, the net is NOT in the boat. |
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| 22. |
The wind only
blows on my part of the lake. |
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| 23. |
Any bass lost, but
not seen, surely weighed 14 pounds. |
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| 24. |
If the tournament
is important enough, you'll wind up at the wrong boat ramp. |
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| 25. |
Drain plugs are
specifically made to be forgotten. |
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| 26. |
Trolling motor
batteries are always charged, except when they're not. |
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| 27. |
Bilge pumps only
work in dry weather. |
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| 28. |
Assuming you took
your time to read this far, I did not waste mine! :) |
